Do Christmas Miracles really exist, except through the production of a ‘Feel Good’ Christmas movie? Are there really any Angels out there looking out for you and your good will? Well I am a Pollyanna but even this is testing me now. I want to believe and ‘click’ my heels 3 times for a wish to come true. Someone slap me now. Really? This is the stuff you are going to write about and publish? A grown woman wishing for Santa and his Elves to spread wishes throughout the season? I have been watching to many Hallmark movies lately.
I could not sleep last night. I turned off the TV and tried and tried to fall into a sleep but it was not gonna happen. I did take a 20 minute catnap in the afternoon. I did go and work my chubby body out, even sweated. But sleep was elusive. So I envisioned my skinny body out on a beach in a hammock with the surf gently lapping at the shoreline, a soft breeze. Still it was elusive. So I did what I have been doing for the past 4 weeks and saying ‘What are you going to?’. This question runs through my head 23 hours a day and I am sick of it. Every time I hit the skids and find myself reassessing, I always go to ‘wouldn’t it be great to just have my own business?’ For 5 years I have wanted my own place, eclectic in what items would be in it, but whimsy and inviting for men and women. Everytime I go to this place and everytime I allow good sense to prevail and get a job that I seemed doomed to fail either by silly detail mistakes or abusive behaviour from the boss or just boredom for not letting me be who I am. I remember being asked what I can bring to the table and I remember thinking to myself people don’t have enough parties for me to host and organize. That comes without thinking, just a natural feeling I get. I am in Dallas of all places, even a chubby girl can throw a good party and make sure everyone has a good time. So many dreams, can a Christmas Miracle be mine this year?
